I was trippin’ lookin’ at my portfolio
Wond’rin’ how I was gonna make enough dough y’know
Called up a friend who wrote for One Tree Hill and Jericho
He had a job for me, and check it, with a four-letter company
(Get it on — get it on)
Hey, I got a proposition for ya–
How ‘bout you let me keep my profits as a scorer?
Record sales are shrinking, I’m gettin’ poorer–
I got a kid to feed, how ‘bout you cut a deal with me?
Exec: Ha! Hey look, Liz, we see you as a commodity
We’ve been with you since Day One and that’s an oddity
And after a series of phone calls to the great publishing houses of Ursa Minor,
I reached my representative, who pulled out the
from the File Cabinet
in the form of Tablets …
MADE OF STONE
Then he said:
Let me see, it’s here in my folder …
Oh shit, you’re twenty years older!
Still hot, but gettin’ a lot colder
… And you wanna cut a WHAT with me?
Lemme tell you how it’s done here in the Hollywood
Maybe you was thinkin’ you was in the Bollywood
If I wanna break the rule, you know I prob’ly could
(C-B-S has gotta R-E-S-P-E-C-T)
Exec: Liz, I’d love to help you out. But we have what we call Standards & Practices…
Standards & Practices Lawyer Scum: In legal terms, we’re referring to this as a recoupable interest in an artist’s compositions on vinyl, plastic, digital, and all transmittable airwaves, for a period of no less than six or nine years, in all territories of the Earth, the solar system and the known universe.
And I replied:
Listen here, my dear little Roni
Don’tcha give me no phoney-baloney
This is not My first Pretty Pony
Don’tcha know you’re fucking with me?
Oh, it’s a bad day for the pool boy:
Come to clean, and discover you, boy,
Face down and feet turning blue, boy
Now your eyes are closed, you finally have the sight to see …
It’s ALL MINE.